is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
