I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
