Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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