And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
