The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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