You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
