don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
