I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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