You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
