what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Found your dick twin last night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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