god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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