Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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