she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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