glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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