i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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