first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
