Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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