then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
