if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
