I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
