Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
