watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My underwear smells like fireworks.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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