youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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