i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
