I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
