There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
