Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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