JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
