Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
