i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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