is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
