Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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