a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
