And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
