I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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