if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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