I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
