My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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