I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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