is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
