Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
