Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
