i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
