thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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