I'm eating all of the evidence.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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