dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
