Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
