remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
