Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The struggles of a small town man whore
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