My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
